FiVe AppLiEd MaTheMaTiCs JoKes

1. ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

2. OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

3. SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

4. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

5. HAPPINESS & LONGEVITY
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
Married men live longer than single men, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

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ToP FiVe EaRTHqUaKeS

1. Location : Southern Chile
Magnitude : 9.5
Date : 29 May 1960
Casualties : 32,290 dead
Cost of repair : $500 million

2. Location : Anchorage, Alaska
Magnitude : 9.2
Date : 28 Mar 1964
Casualties : 131 dead
Cost of repair : $500 million

3. Location : Tokyo, Japan
Magnitude : 8.3
Date : 1 Sep 1923
Casualties : over 140,000

4. Location : Mexico City, Mexico
Magnitude : 8.1
Date : 20 Sep 1985
Casualties : 40,000 dead
Cost of repair : $10 billion

5. Location : Izmit, Turkey
Magnitude : 7.8
Date : 17 Aug 1999
Casualties : 40,000 dead
Cost of repair : $10 billion

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FiVe EnTRePReNeURiaL qUoTes

1. I'm not sure I knew what an entrepreneur was when I was ten, but I knew that starting little businesses and trying to sell greeting cards or newspapers door-to-door or just vending machine kind of thing is.. there's just something very intriguing to me about that.
- Steve Case

2. The entrepreneur in us sees opportunities everywhere we look, but many people see only problems everywhere they look. The entrepreneur in us is more concerned with discriminating between opportunities than he or she is with failing to see the opportunities.
- Michael Gerber

3. I did something that challenged the banking world. Conventional banks look for the rich; we look for the absolutely poor. All people are entrepreneurs, but many don't have the opportunity to find that out.
- Muhammad Yunus

4. The entrepreneur is not really interested in doing the work; he is interested in creating the way the company operates. In that regard, the entrepreneur is an inventor. He or she loves to invent, but does not love to manufacture or sell or distribute what he or she invents.
- Michael Gerber

5. A real entrepreneur is somebody who has no safety net underneath them.
- Henry Kravis

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ToP FiVe bLoGs

1. The Huffington Post
Recent: Biden: US To Appeal Dismissal Of …

2. Gizmodo
Recent: NASA's Top Dude Wants Us To Get High …

3. Mashable!
Recent: 5 Fantastic iPhone Chargers to Keep …

4. Engadget
Recent: MSI X-Slim X620 keeps its ULV processor …

5. TechCrunch
Recent: Magic Wand Bomb Detector Deemed

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FiVe CaShcRaTe TiPs

1. Create a new e-mail account
You will need a legitimate e-mail account to complete surveys, but since you won’t want your real account being flooded with spam you must create a new one.

2. Learn to separate e-mail confirmations from spam
The reason you need a working e-mail is because many of your offers require confirmation in order for you to get paid. In layman’s terms, you must prove to them you are a real person.

3. Use CCleaner
Some offers on CashCrate are hosted by the same company and sometimes if your computer has already filled out one of their offers, they won’t credit you for others.
CCleaner is a free program that clears your browser’s cookies, allowing you to complete as many of the same company’s offers as you want.
For maximum profit, run CCleaner and clear your cookies after every offer.

4. Refer your friends!
As an active member of CashCrate, you are immediately placed in one of the best referral programs in the business. You will receive 20% of your referral’s earnings and 10% of their referrals earnings. The more people you refer, the more money you will make. To find your referral link, go into your Members Area and click Referral Info. Spread this link to as many people as you can and rack up the cash!

5. Don’t get burnt out!
I’ll be completely honest: filling out firms gets very boring. I don’t do it because I love it and I don’t do it because it will make me rich. I do it because it’s incredibly easy and it makes me a decent amount of extra cash for doing simple work. It’s very easy to go balls out immediately and get sick of it, which is why I divide my CashCrate-time into small, even increments throughout the week. For instance, whenever I realize I’m just sitting around online, doing nothing productive, I fire up 20 surveys, complete them and log off. It’s a large enough amount of surveys for me to make decent cash, but it’s not so many that I get completely sick of it.
I suggest you find your own comfort level in order to keep CashCrate fun and interesting.
I hope you’ve enjoyed these CashCrate tips! if so, please link them to your friends and submit them to the social sites below. Thanks and good luck.

FiVe wRiTiNg TiPs

1. Know who your audience is and why you are writing.

2. Know the most important point you're trying to convey, and unless your audience prefers an indirect approach, state your purpose clearly early on.

3. Support your main point with compelling, logical arguments.

4. If the writing becomes a strain or you get blocked, stop. Come back to it later. Corollary: get rid of the editor on your shoulder. There's plenty of time to revise once you have something to work with.

5. "Sleep" on your draft, no matter how briefly. Even getting up, walking across the room and looking out the window for a few minutes can help.

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tOp FiVe cARTooN cHaRacTeRs

1. Bugs Bunny
Looney Tunes were first created as lead-ins to feature films. It was only later the cartoons became a Saturday morning staple. Generations later, Bugs Bunny is still tops.

2. Homer Simpson
Homer Simpson is known throughout the world. Having been on TV for over 20 seasons, this patriarch is not the father who knows best, but he certainly tries.

3. Mickey Mouse
Mickey Mouse represents Disney in all its forms. He started life in black and white Steamboat Willie. Mickey Mouse isn't just a cartoon character; he's an icon.

4. Bart Simpson
The next favorite character from The Simpsons is Bart. We all knew a kid like Bart, and sometimes wished we were like him.

5. Charlie Brown
Introduced on TV in It's Christmas, Charlie Brown, this comic strip staple became a holiday tradition. The kid who never kicks the football, whose dog is more popular than he is and who has a crush on the red-headed girl steals our hearts every year.

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FiVe ThiNGs aBoUt BrAdd piTT yOu dON'T kNoW

1. Being a Sagittarian I was delighted to find that Brad Pitt is one too! Born on December 18th we’re just 10 days apart. It’s not the same year though so I can’t really claim to be famous yet!

2. His formal and official name is William Bradley Pitt. That’s a mouthful and I’m glad he shortened it to Brad. ‘William’ doesn’t have a Hollywood ring to it!

3. While at school, Brad was quite the sportsman. He played basketball, golf, tennis and participated in the choir, debate team, swim team and drama club. Now that’s what we call a great example!

4. Just like almost every young adult Brad Pitt had acne. Yes, this super star really is human! However, you won’t see the scars on his face as it has been removed by dermabrasion.

5. No! Brad Pitt wasn't always a mega star! He worked as a pool boy, chauffeur and a delivery man. Here’s something even better – he worked as a giant chicken mascot for a restaurant! Now that’s one chicken I’d buy from!

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FiVe LuCy LaWLeSS qUoTeS

1. I'm thrilled that women are encouraged to follow their dreams and I am equally pleased that young men are getting a new view of women: an unapologetic woman.

2. I am waiting for a sign that will indicate to me what meaning I must give to my life, but right now my existence is satisfactory.

3. We live at the edge of the world, so we live on the edge. Kiwis will always sacrifice money and security for adventure and challenge.

4. I am not intimidating. I am a woman's woman. I love hanging out with women. And people are really inspired by this show.

5. We were shooting video, and they are using footage that I and my crew actually shot. It was really exciting, worrying about the camera angle you are getting, and you were truly being your character and fully concerned about shooting the footage. It was like shooting a movie within a movie.

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FiVe tOP RaTeD jOkEs

1. A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"

2. A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!

3. On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!"

4. A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."

5. It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."

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BiNG SeArCH : FiVe TiPs

1. Summary text – Don’t be in hurry to click through links on results page.Hover on the extreme right on links on result page and see a pop-up showing summary text of content on that specific link.

2. Related Searches - Bing helps you dig more for current keyword being searched for. Keep an eye on left sidebar for related search keywords, you might be looking for something listed there.

3. Best Match Feature – Similar to Im feeling lucky button on Google Homepage, Bing has best match feature. Search for google keyword on Bing, it will show the best match as www.google.com (of course!).

4. Advanced options - Click the advanced link and see lot of options to customize your search results. You can see search results for specific region, languages and web URL.

5. Save & share searches – Bing allows you to save specific keyword searches. You can even share saved searches with friends, login using Live account to get going.

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FiVe BooKs eVeRy eNRepReNEuR sHoULd ReAD

1. "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
Charlie O'Donnell: "I don't know any book that sums up the entrepreneurial passion and spirit better than The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand: 'The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.'"

2. "Out of the Crisis" by W. Edwards Deming
Roger Ehrenberg: "Big or small, this book focuses the entrepreneur/manager on respecting employees, focusing on process, and insisting on the collection and analysis of data. The development of metrics to manage the business is critical for the start-up founder."

3. "Reality Check" by Guy Kawasaki
Penelope Trunk: "I love flipping through the chapters. Each one is like a blog post, so you learn something on every page. And each chapter reminds me to be a little bit better at something I'm doing already."

4. "The Four Steps to the Epiphany" by Steven Gary Blank
Babak Nivi: "The closest thing to a manual for building a startup. Marc Andreessen calls it 'a roadmap for how to get to Product/Market Fit.'"

5. "The 4-Hour Workweek" by Timothy Ferriss
Paul Jozefak: "... great insights into saving time.

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FiVe SmOKiNG FaCTs

1. Cigarette smoking has been identified as the most important source of preventable morbidity and premature mortality in the United States and the world.

2. Smoking-related diseases cause an estimated 440,000 American deaths each year.

3. Smoking costs the United States over $150 billion annually in health care costs.

4. A 2004 Study by the CDC's National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention and Health Promotion found that cigarette smoke contains over 4,800 chemicals, 69 of which are known to cause cancer.

5. Women account for 39 percent of all smoking deaths.

FiVe CaNaDiAN jOkEs

1. A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm.
His friend Randy stops him and asks, "Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?"
"Well, I got it for my wife, you see?" answers Dave.
"Wow," exclaims Randy, "Great trade."

2. An American, a Scot and a Canuk were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for his."

3. A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received
the letter to God , CANADA, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. The Prime Minister thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through OTTAWA, CAN and those assholes deducted $95.00 in taxes.

4. A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I am not an American."
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Canadian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
"Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I'm a Canadian too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Kristen, "I'd be an American."

5. A Cape Bretoner walked into the local Welfare Office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "I'm here to pick up my welfare cheque, but I really hate drawing welfare. I would really rather find a job."
The person behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours involved, meals will also be provided and you will be required to escort the young lady on all her overseas holiday trips. The salary package starts at $200,000 a year with room and board and bonuses."
The Cape Bretoner said, "You've got to be bullshitting me man!"
The clerk behind the counter said, "Yeah, well you started it....."

FiVe qUoTEs aBoUT HaiTi

1. Also, people are not often aware of the way the United States' policies influence what happens in places like Haiti or El Salvador orNicaragua. Or in Columbia right now.
And the fact that Haiti was occupied for 19 years by the United States, from 1915 to 1934 - Edwidge Danticat

2. Civil and political rights are critical, but not often the real problem for the destitute sick. My patients in Haiti can now vote but they can't get medical care or clean water - Paul Farmer

3. Without question, conditions in the Haiti are worse since Aristide's removal, and continue to deteriorate - Charles Rangel

4. Two hundred years ago, our precursors in Haiti struck a blow for freedom, which was heard around the world, and across centuries - Baldwin Spencer

5. While Haiti has recently celebrated more than 200 years of independence from French colonial rule, the citizens of the islandremain vulnerable to poverty, poor health, and political chaos - Eliot Engel

FiVe FuNNiEsT jOkEs

1. A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “Okay, now what?”

2. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson goes on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
‘Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes,” replies Watson.
“And what do you deduce from that?”
Watson ponders for a minute.
“Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?”
Holmes is silent for a moment. ‘Watson, you idiot!” he says. “Someone has stolen our tent!”

3. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

4. A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.” The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.

5. When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.

FiVe MaHaTma GaNDhi qUoTeS

1. Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.

2. As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.

3. Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.

4. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

5. Hate the sin, love the sinner.

MeRceDes-BeNz: FiVe ReVeALinG FaCTs

1. Mercedes-Benz employs one inspector for every 11 workers, and pays them to criticize their heads off. By the time a Mercedes-Benz gets the final stamp of approval, it has undergone thousands of separate inspections.

2. Every Mercedes-Benz sits on a fully independent swing axle suspension system, first used on the company's racing machines. This suspension allows firm and stable roadholding regardless of speed and dips without jarring or pitching. No 'Sea-sick' feeling.

3. All Mercedes-Benz engines use overhead camshafts in place of ordinary valve actuation. This allows extremely high engine speeds in total smoothness, and safety, and quiet. And it permits these engines, only half the size of most V8's, to cruise at over 90 mph all day if required.

4. Every engine is test-run before being mounted in the car. Many are run for over an hour on special test rigs, and checked with a battery of gauges for any sign of undue noise or friction. Engine oil during this test is replenished more than 60 times - flushing away every speck of dirt and debris.

5. Vital suspension steering and brake parts are tightened during assembly by hand with a unique torque wrench-designed for
the job by Mercedes-Benz engineers. When the exact pre-determined pressure is reached, this ingenius device squirts a blot of yellow paint on to the part. A follow-up inspector then simply counts the blots to check that the job has been perfectly done.

FiRsT DaTe ? FiVe TiPs FoR MeN

1. Don't take her out to dinner on the first date
These days, the most popular first date is the weeknight 'getting-a-couple-drinks' date. And, for good reason. It's non-committal, relatively brief by necessity, and the drinks help to calm everybody's nerves. So, don't try to impress with a 4-star restaurant when you barely know the person. This way, you'll keep your wallet intact and she won't feel beholden. Plus, if the sparks don't fly, it's easy to retire the evening early.

2. Embrace your inner weird
A lot of people tend to go all glossy on dates. Sort of like a job interview, you really just want to seem appealing. This is a mistake. First, you actually become less attractive by paving over what sets you apart... But, more importantly, if you highlight your idiosyncrasies, you've got a better shot of finding a girl that compliments you, and tolerates your obsession with minimalist free jazz .

3. Don't try to sleep with her
Despite the advice from 20 seconds ago (you should still tidy up your place, it's starting to smell a little), having sex on a first date is not a good idea if you think you might want a relationship with the person. Studies have shown that people who have sex on a first date have a lot more trouble developing a good date into a relationship than those who are content delaying gratification. So, even if the date is going really, really well, don't push for the sleep over. After all, it's always nice to have something to look forward to, and, when all is said and done, she'll fancy you a gentleman.

4. Be a class act
Chivalry may be dead, but she'll like you more if you try to revive it just a little. Open the door for her, pull out her chair, support her on icy sidewalks, etc... Despite the obvious self sufficiency of the modern woman, courtesy is still courtesy. A dash of chivalry shows your attraction and ability to protect and nurture. But, it's important not to take this too far. You don't want to seem old fashion, or as though you're trying real hard to impress. Just be be a good, considerate guy who knows the pleasure of treating a lady as such.

5. Compliment her and others
When you're on a date it's good to toss out a few genuine compliments. But, unless you're Dennis Leary, you probably already knew that... So, let me say that it's a good idea, not only to compliment your date, but to also talk nicely about people that you both know, or people that you've met throughout the night. By projecting kindness towards people that aren't around, you'll show that you tend to see the positive side of things, which is a very attractive characteristic.

ToP FiVe WeB bRoWsER

1. Firefox

2. Google Chrome

3. Safari

4. Internet Explorer

5. Opera

sTeVe JoBs FiVe QuOTeS

1. Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.

2. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

3. Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works.

4. .. almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

5. You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.

FiVe jAy LEnO JoKeS

1. On Fox News, Ann Coulter said she's against body scans at the airport because terrorists will still be able to hide explosives in their anus. So finally Ann Coulter is speaking on a topic she knows something about.

2. The annual list of the most admired men in the world came out today. Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods are tied. I wonder what those two would have in common.

3. An 86-year-old politician in India resigned after a sex tape surfaced showing him in bed with three women. 86 years old, three women. A lot of his constituents are saying it was a stupid idea for him to make the sex tape of himself. But the guy is 86. How else is he going to remember having sex?

4. And former President Bush says he's been following the situation in Yemen very carefully. But, you know, we love President Bush, but I don't think he really understands the situation. Like today, said, 'When life gives you Yemens, you make Yemenade.'

5. History was made this week. This weekend Houston became the city to ever elect an openly lesbian mayor. That's not the part that made history. The part that made history, finally a woman in the news not accused of sleeping with Tiger Woods.

FiVe sTePs To cOOk peRFeCT sTeAK

1. Prepare the steaks
Allow to come to room temperature (for about 20 minutes).
If bought from mail order, defrost overnight in a refrigerator, in original packaging and pat dry.

2. Preheat your pan
Heat a griddle or frying pan over a high heat until hot, but not smoking. (If the pan is too hot, the outside will burn before the inside is done, too cold, and your steaks will be tough).
Brush the steaks with oil (to avoid using too much), or pour a little oil into the pan, and season if desired. (Canola or groundnut oil is best, but olive oil is fine too.)
When you place the steaks in the pan, a "sizzle" will tell you if it’s hot enough.

3. Cook to your liking
For a medium steak: Cook on one side without touching for 3-4 minutes, then reduce to a medium heat and cook for another 2-3 minutes.
Gently turn the steak over with a pair of tongs (don’t pierce it, or the juices will escape), and cook for a further 6 minutes. (You can vary the times here if you prefer a rare or well-done steak.)
To test for doneness, press the steak gently with the tip of your finger. Rare should be soft and supple, well done firm, and medium in between.

4. Rest your steaks
Resting is just as important as cooking, as it allows the meat to become warm, moist and tender all the way through.
Remove from the pan, place on a rack and cover with foil and leave in a warm place for up to 10 minutes. Remember it is always better to over-rest your steaks than to under-rest them. Resting helps the meat to achieve the full flavour and tenderness.

5. Serve your steaks
Lay your table with razor-sharp, un-serrated steak knives designed to cut cleanly through the meat.
Serve your steaks on hot dinner plates, and enjoy.

FiVe FaCTs aBoUT FaT

1. Where does body fat come from?
Fat is produced by the body when an excess intake of calories in the form of food or drink occurs. When the diet provides the body with more calories than it needs for general maintenance and its current level of physical activity, this excess energy is stored in the form of body fat.

2. How do I lose excess fat?
Put simply, the removal of excess fat is by a reversal of the bodily processes that store excess energy, if an individual burns more energy than he or she is consuming, the extra energy stored in the body will be removed to be broken down for physical activity.

3. How does exercise affect body fat?
An increase in regular exercise will help to increase your calorie expenditure. The more physical activity you do the more calories you will burn. Accordingly, if you increase your physical activity, and do not increase your intake of food, you will draw the extra energy needed from your stored body fat.

4. Why do gains in weight always seem to go on the same place?
One's body tends to deposit fat according to your individual genetic code. In other words, hereditary characteristics dictate areas in your body that accumulate fat. If you are a typical female, you will accumulate fat around your thighs and hips. Typically, males accumulate fat around the midriff and lose it there last

5. Can I get fat off from a specific part of the body?
The simple answer is NO. If you exercise a particular part of the body, muscle tissue under the fat will become firm and make the overall appearance of that region look better. However, such specific exercise will not reduce the quantity of fat within the area. Thus, simply by jogging one will not just reduce the fat around the legs and hips, the fat providing energy for this activity may be coming from the stomach, chin, back etc.

ToP FiVe RiCHesT wOmEn 2009

1. Christy Walton
The 54.years old with $20 billion is now the world's richest woman.

2. Alice Walton
The 59 years old with $19.5 billion is now world's IInd richest woman .Father Sam and Uncle James started general-store chain in Bentonville, Ark., in 1962. Today Wal-Mart is world's largest retailer: controls more than 7,900 stores, has 2 million employees and has sales of $400 billion.

3. Liliane Bettencourt
The 86 years old with $15 billion is now world's III rd richest woman and also Europe's wealthiest women.

4. Susanne Klatten
The 46 years old Germany with $12 billion.world's 4 th richest woman

5. Birgit Rausing
She is in the Packaging industry in Switzerland.@ the age of 85 net worth of $11 billion world's 5 th richest woman

FiVe oPRaH wiNFReY qUoTeS

1. Before you agree to do anything that might add even the smallest amount of stress to your life, ask yourself: What is my truest intention? Give yourself time to let a yes resound within you. When it's right, I guarantee that your entire body will feel it.

2. My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.

3. The big secret in life is that there is no big secret. Whatever your goal, you can get there if you're willing to work.

4. Every time you state what you want or believe, you're the first to hear it. It's a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don't put a ceiling on yourself.

5. Often we don't even realize who we're meant to be because we're so busy trying to live out someone else's ideas. But other people and their opinions hold no power in defining our destiny.

FiVe LaWyeR jOKeS

1. "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand.
"If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness.

2. A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented.
The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."
The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."
Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"

3. Walking into a lawyers office, a man asked what his rates were. "Fifty dollars for three questions," the lawyer stated. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" the man asked?" "Yes," replied the lawyer. "What's your third question?"

4. Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog. The second is snake. And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.

5. A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms. The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar. The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There's no mistake. This is your room. We have lots of Pope's, but you're our very first Lawyer!"

FiVe FaCtS aBoUT ToNy FeRNaNDeS (aiRaSiA)

1. Datuk Seri Anthony Francis Fernandes (born 30 April 1964; also known as Tony Fernandes) is a Malaysian entrepreneur and the founder of Tune Air Sdn. Bhd., who introduced the first budget no-frills airline, AirAsia, to Malaysians with the tagline "Now everyone can fly".

2. He rose to prominence by turning AirAsia, a failing government-linked commercial airline, into a highly successful budget airline public-listed company. Fernandes was also instrumental in lobbying the then-Malaysian Prime Minister, Tun Dr. Mahathir Mohamad in mid-2003, to propose the idea of open skies agreements with neighbouring Thailand, Indonesia, and Singapore. As a result, these nations have granted landing rights to AirAsia and other discount carriers.

3. Born in Kuala Lumpur to a Goan father and Malacca Portuguese mother, Dato Fernandes is the son of the late Stephen Edward Fernandes, and Ena Dorothy Fernandez. When he was young, he used to follow his mother, a businesswoman, to Tupperware dealer parties and conventions.

4. He was educated at Epsom College 1977-83 and then graduated from the London School of Economics in 1987. He worked very briefly with Virgin Atlantic as an auditor, subsequently becoming the financial controller for Richard Branson's Virgin Records in London from 1987 to 1989. Tony was admitted as Associate Member of the Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA) in 1991 and became Fellow Member in 1996.

5. Upon his return to Malaysia, he became the youngest-ever managing director of Warner Music (Malaysia) Sdn Bhd. Though an accountant, Fernandes is an amateur guitarist and also has achieved grade 8 piano which is where his musical inclination lies. He was responsible for revolutionising ethnic music, nasyid and dangdut, bringing them into the mainstream of contemporary Malaysian music. He subsequently became the South East Asian regional vice-president for Warner Music Group from 1992-2001. When Time Warner Inc announced its merger with America Online Inc., Fernandes left to pursue his dream of starting a budget no-frills airline. However, his application for a license from the Malaysian government was rejected.

waRReNT bUFFeTT FiVe iNvEsTmEnT TiPs

1. When you know you're the best, you can afford to tell it like it is. Buffett says: "Our insurance business had an excellent year... that party is over. It's a certainty that insurance-industry profit margins, including ours, will fall significantly in 2008. So be prepared for lower insurance earnings during the next few years."

2. Only four things really count when making an investment (or buying whole companies if, like Buffett, you have $141bn to spend) - "a business you understand, favourable long-term economics, able and trustworthy management, and a sensible price tag". That's investment, everything else is speculation.

3. Invest this way and you don't need to constantly look for the next "new" thing, with all the risk that necessarily entails.
Buffett's biggest investments (companies he doesn't own in their entirety) include American Express, Wells Fargo, Procter & Gamble and Coca-Cola.
These four businesses, he notes, were founded in 1850, 1852, 1837 and 1886 respectively. "Start-ups are not our game".

4. Businesses are run by people and the best people are not necessarily the ones with the flashiest CVs. Buffett singles out Susan Jacques, chief executive of his jewellery retailer Borsheims. "Susan came to Borsheims 25 years ago as a $4-an-hour saleswoman. She's smart, she loves the business and she loves her associates. That beats having an MBA degree any time."

5. Even for a super-long-term investor like Buffett, there's always a time to sell. Berkshire Hathaway bought 1.3pc of PetroChina in 2002 and 2003 for $488m, valuing the Chinese oil company at $37bn when Buffett thought it was probably worth $100bn.
When the China share bubble took its value to $275bn last year, way above its fundamental value, Buffett cashed in his holding for $4bn, an eightfold rise in five years.

2009 ToP FiVe SoNGs

1) Taylor Swift: 'You Belong With Me'

2) Jay Sean: 'Down'

3) Iyaz: 'Replay'

4) Lady GaGa: 'Poker Face'

5) Black Eyed Peas: 'I Gotta Felling'

FiVe aLbERT eiNsTeiN qUoTeS

1. "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."

2. "Imagination is more important than knowledge."

3. "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."

4. "I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."

5. "The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."

FiVe SinGH jOkEs

1. One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America. A lady came
and asked him, " Are you relaxing?" Singh answered, "No, I am Banta Singh".
Another guy came and asked the him the same question.
Singh answered, "No No Me Banta Singh!"
Third one came and asked him the same question again.
Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun.
He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?"
The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am
relaxing."
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is
looking for you and your are sitting over here!"

2. Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low
all around his living room.
Jasmeet : "What are you searching for?"
Santa : "Hidden cameras!"
Jasmeet : "And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras
here?"
Santa : "That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few
minutes he keeps saying
'You are watching the Star World Channel'. How does he know that?"

3. Having lost his donkey a Singh, got down to his knees and started
thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you
thanking God for ?"
The Singh replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't
riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

4. Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question
paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off
and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws
it awayas well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The
invigilator,
alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
"Oye, I am only following the instructions here"! It says here
"Answer the
following questions in brief".

5. A Singh goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to
wash hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running
and asks him, "Mr. Singh, what are you doing?" To this
the man replies," Oye, see the board here ---"Wash Basin".

FiVe aMaZinG gOOgLe FaCTs

1. Google's name is a play on the word googol, which refers to the number 1 followed by one hundred zeroes. The term was coined by Milton Sirotta, nephew of American mathematician Edward Kasner, and was popularized in the book, "Mathematics and the Imagination" by Kasner and James Newman. Google's play on the term reflects the company's mission to organize the immense amount of information available on the web.

2. Google started as a research project at Stanford University, created by Ph.D. candidates Larry Page and Sergey Brin when they were 24 years old and 23 years old respectively (a combined 47 years old).

3. Google's index of web pages is the largest in the world, comprising of billions of web pages. Google searches this immense collection of web pages often in less than half a second.

4. The basis of Google's search technology is called PageRank™, and assigns an "importance" value to each page on the web and gives it a rank to determine how useful it is. However, that's not why it's called PageRank. It's actually named after Google co-founder Larry Page.

5. Googlers are multifaceted. One operations manager, who keeps the Google network in good health is a former neurosurgeon. One software engineer is a former rocket scientist. And the company's chef formerly prepared meals for members of The Grateful Dead and funkmeister George Clinton.

FiVe oFFiCe eTiQueTTe TiPs

1. There’s nothing more annoying that a ringing phone that goes unanswered. If you don’t want to answer your phone put it on silent or divert calls to your answerphone. Also, keep your cell phone on vibrate because if I hear another rendition of the Crazy Frog ring tone, I will kill someone.

2. Office politics is unavoidable. Don’t let people undermine you or draw you into arguments. Let your achievements do the talking for you and make sure that the right people are aware of what you have accomplished without you needing to brag about it.

3. If you’re going to take lunch at your desk, keep it simple. A sandwich is best. Don’t go bringing in a homemade spicy chicken and pasta dish that’s going to stink up the office and annoy people. On the lunch subject, make sure you don’t disturb people with work-related problems when they’re on their lunch. They won’t thank you for it and you’ll be repaid in kind at a later date.

4. Always offer to make tea and coffee for your colleagues. If you don’t chip in and help out with drink rounds and buying in the milk, you may find that your “World’s Best Guy” mug mysteriously disappears, never to be seen again. You’ll also be seen as the cheapskate who won’t stump up for a bottle of milk. Evil eyes and anonymous hate e-mail will surely ensue.

5. If you do had sex with the insanely hot girl in Accounts and leave her, you better believe the office will be rife with talk about your lack of stamina and ‘pinky’ sized penis. You’ll look unprofessional to your bosses and, worse still, when an even hotter girl joins the Sales team, she’ll know about your indiscretions almost immediately and you’ll never have a chance with her

ToP FiVe LaPToP 2009

1. HP Pavilion dv5t

2. Apple MacBook Pro

3. Lenovo ThinkPad T400

4. Sony Vaio Z Series

5. Dell XPS M1730

FiVe BiLL GaTeS QuOTeS

1. I really had a lot of dreams when I was a kid, and I think a great deal of that grew out of the fact that I had a chance to read a lot.

2. If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.

3. Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.

4. People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People feared coal, they feared gas-powered engines... There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear. But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters.

5. The first rule of any technology used in a business is that automation applied to an efficient operation will magnify the efficiency. The second is that automation applied to an inefficient operation will magnify the inefficiency.

FiVe SiGn oF nEt aDDiCTiOn

1. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop to check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

2. You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Netscape Navigator 3 or higher."

3. You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.

4. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

5. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.

FiVe ReSumE TiPs

1. Only list experience relevant to the job you’ve applying for. There’s no law that says you have to list every single job you’ve ever had on your resume.

2. Don’t call attention to your dates of employment by using them as headers or setting them off in the left hand margin. Put dates at the end of job descriptions. Also, use years only, not months and years.

3. If you left a job because it was eliminated (merger, mass layoff, etc.), be sure to say so.

4. If you’ve had numerous freelance or contract jobs, lump them together. The purpose of your resume is to show you have the skills and experience for a particular job. It’s not an autobiography.

5. Write a dynamite cover letter where you demonstrate (a) your knowledge of the company you’re seeking to join, and (b) the specific value you bring to your prospective employer.

FiVe tHiNgS iN mY pOcKeT

1. Nokia E63

2. Fossil Wallet

3. Nissan car key

4. Pilot V7Grip pen

5. Dentyne red apple mint

Burj DuBAi FiVe FaCTs

1. Burj Khalifa (Arabic: برج خليفة‎ "Khalifa Tower"), formerly known as Burj Dubai, is a "supertall" skyscraper in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, and is the tallest man-made structure ever built, at 828 m (2,717 ft). Construction began on 21 September 2004, with the exterior of the structure completed on 1 October 2009 and the building officially opened on 4 January 2010.

2. The building is part of the 2 km2 (490-acre) flagship development called Downtown Burj Khalifa at the "First Interchange" along Sheikh Zayed Road, near Dubai's main business district. The tower's architect and engineer is Skidmore, Owings and Merrill, LLP (Chicago).Bill Baker, the Chief Structural Engineer for the project, invented the buttressed core structural system in order to enable the tower to achieve such heights economically. Adrian Smith, who worked with Skidmore, Owings and Merrill (SOM) until 2006, was the Design Partner on the project.

3. The primary builder is a joint venture of South Korean Samsung C&T, who also built the Taipei 101 and Petronas Twin Towers, Belgian group Besix and Arabtec from UAE. Turner Construction Company was chosen as the construction project manager. Under UAE law, the Contractor and the Engineer of Record are jointly and severally liable for the performance of Burj Dubai. Therefore, by adoption of SOM's design and by being appointed as Architect and Engineer of Record, Hyder Consulting is legally the Design Consultant for the tower.

4. The total budget for the Burj Khalifa project is about US$1.5 billion; and for the entire new "Downtown Dubai", US$20 billion. Mohamed Ali Alabbar, the CEO of Emaar Properties, speaking at the Council on Tall Buildings and Urban Habitat 8th World Congress, said that the price of office space at Burj Khalifa had reached US$4,000 per sq ft (over US$43,000 per m2) and that the Armani Residences, also in Burj Khalifa, were selling for US$3,500 per sq ft (over US$37,500 per m2).

5. The primary structural system of Burj Khalifa is reinforced concrete. Over 45,000 m3 (58,900 cu yd) of concrete, weighing more than 110,000 tonnes (120,000 ST; 110,000 LT) were used to construct the concrete and steel foundation, which features 192 piles, with each pile is 1.5 meter diameter x 43 meter long buried more than 50 m (164 ft) deep. Burj Khalifa's construction used 330,000 m3 (431,600 cu yd) of concrete and 55,000 tonnes of steel rebar, and construction took 22 million man-hours. A high density, low permeability concrete was used in the foundations of Burj Khalifa. A cathodic protection system under the mat is used to minimize any detrimental effects from corrosive chemicals in local ground water.

FiVe eNgiNeeR JoKes

1. Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."
Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."

2. Two Engineers agree to paint a flag pole. Of course they need to know how tall it is so they can purchase the paint. One shimmies up the pole with a tape measure and falls after reaching about half way. While trying to figure out how they can possibly measure the pole along comes a Designer. After asking what they're doing he replies, "that s easy". He then reaches around the pole and pulls it out of the ground and lays it down. "There you go", he said as he walked away. The two Engineers look at each other and one said "that stupid guy will never get anywhere, we don't need to know how wide it is, just how tall".

3. An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

4. "A Boy and His Frog" A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

5. A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician were all in a hotel sleeping when a fire broke out in their respective rooms. The physicist woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, pulled out his CRC, and began working out all sorts of fluid dynamics equations. After a couple minutes, he threw down his pencil, got a graduated cylinder out of his suitcase, and measured out a precise amount of water. He threw it on the fire, extinguishing it, with not a drop wasted, and went back to sleep. The engineer woke up, saw the fire, ran into the bathroom, turned on the faucets full-blast, flooding out the entire apartment, which put out the fire, and went back to sleep. The mathematician woke up, saw the fire, ran over to his desk, began working through theorems, lemmas, hypotheses , you-name-it, and after a few minutes, put down his pencil triumphantly and exclaimed, "I have *proven* that I *can* put the fire out!" He then went back to sleep.

FiVe LoSeR qUoTeS

1. A loser doesn't know what he'll do if he loses, but talks about what he'll do if he wins, and a winner doesn't talk about what he'll do if he wins, but knows what he'll do if he loses.
Eric Berne

2. A winner rebukes and forgives; a loser is too timid to rebuke and too petty to forgive.
Sydney J. Harris

3. I have probably purchased fifty 'hot tips' in my career, maybe even more. When I put them all together, I know I am a net loser.
Charles M. Schwab

4. Part of me suspects that I'm a loser, and the other part of me thinks I'm God Almighty.
John Lennon

5. You have to be able to be a good loser. You have to be okay knowing you're going to fail every day in something without getting mad and upset.
Dan O'Brien    

ToP FiVe NHL pLaYeRs

1. Alexander Ovechkin

2. Trevor Linden

3. Sydney Crosby

4. Roberto Luongo

5. Evengi Malkin

FiVe nEw YeArS joKeS

1. A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky.
'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.  But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it.  This is my position, and I will not compromise.'

2. Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.
'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'
'Phase one?' wonders Ken.
'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'

3. Trevor's New Year's Eve party was an annual occurrence with numerous guests arriving.  During the evening, a man knocked on the door, was greeted heartily although no one knew who he was, and was led to where the drinks were, in the kitchen.  He sat there happily, chatting away, for a couple of hours before a strange light dawned on his face. 'You know,' he confided to Trevor, 'I wasn't even invited to this party.  I just came over to tell you that some of your guests' cars are blocking my drive.'  He continued, 'My wife's been sitting out in the car waiting for me to get them moved, so that we can go out.'

4. Jemima was taking an afternoon nap on New Year's Eve before the festivities. After she woke up, she confided to Max, her husband, 'I just dreamed that you gave me a diamond ring for a New Year's present. What do you think it all means?'
'Aha, you'll know tonight,' answered Max smiling broadly.
At midnight, as the New Year was chiming, Max approached Jemima and handed her small package.  Delighted and excited she opened it quickly. There in her hand rested a book entitled: 'The meaning of dreams'.

5. As in many homes on New Year's Day, Janet and Nigel, a happily married couple, faced the annual conflict of which was more important: the football match on television, or the lunch itself.
Hoping to keep the peace Nigel ate lunch with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-lunch chat before retiring to the lounge to turn on the television.
Some minutes later, Janet looked in to see how he was and graciously even bought a cold beer for Nigel. She smiled, kissed him on the cheek and asked what the score was. Nigel told her it was half time and that the score was still 0-0.
'See?' Janet said happily, 'You didn't miss a thing.' 

FiVe TiPs FoR FaCeBooK pRiVaCy sETTiNg

1. Control what is public
When Facebook updated its privacy settings, users were prompted to review their new defaults and approve them. Many breezed past the prompt, releasing things that were once protected – such as their photos and the About Me section on their profiles – to the masses.
“A lot of people may not realize their status updates may be public and they may not want them to be,” says Ben Parr, co-editor of the social media site Mashable.
To review your current defaults, go to Settings> Privacy Settings. From there you can build up a digital fortress where you can restrict access to various parts of your profile.
Your Friends list is now public by default, but if you want to hide it from the wider world, go to your profile page and click on the pencil icon in the corner of the Friends box, then uncheck the option to “Show Friend List to everyone.”

2. Maintain friends lists
“The smartest thing you can do about managing Facebook, and still use it the way you want to use it, is to set up Friends lists,” says Sarah Browne, who runs the social media blog Guru of New.
Go to Friends>All Friends>Create New List and set up one for family, one for colleagues and one for friends as a start, Ms. Browne suggests. From there, you can set which content can be viewed by members of each list. That way, you can put a professional face forward for your boss, but still share less-professional wall posts with friends.

3. Protect your photos
If you're nervous that a snapshot of your droopy eyes and wine-stained lips may surface on a friend's album with a photo tag identifying you, be pro-active and stop the embarrassment before it happens. Go to Settings> Privacy Settings> Profile Information and change the settings for “Photos and Videos of Me” to “Customize” and then “Only Me.”
If you want to put the lockdown on your own albums (no need for your ex to see that album of you and your new partner on vacation in Monaco) go to Photos> My Photos> Album Privacy to select who can see each of your albums. You can always allow access to certain Friends lists and then restrict others, and even block individuals.

4. Read the fine print on apps
Facebook tells you that “Uncle Tim could really use some help fertilizing crops in Farmville.” You toss him a bone. You've been sucked in by Farmville (and dozens of other applications) – but are you aware that you're farming out some of your information?
“The third-party apps ... know that they can go in and take away anything,” Ms. Browne warns.
Instead of blindly clicking “Accept” to add applications that tell you which Sex and the City character you are, or give you the ammo to win at Mafia Wars , read the fine print on what information you'll be releasing to developers and weigh whether it's worth the tradeoff, she says.

5. Say bye for good
You've installed Alcatraz-level security settings to your Facebook page. Still leery about using the service? You can always delete your account.
While Facebook's help section doesn't give you a straight answer on how to commit Facebook suicide, you can do the deed by visiting this URL.
After you choose to delete your account, Facebook will hold on to your information for 30 days in case you reconsider, and then purge it.
But, as Mr. Parr warns, don't think anything can actually be gone forever in the digital age.
“The first thing you have to remember is that [your information] can in one way or another become public,” he says. “My golden rule with the Web is don't post anything you wouldn't want your mother to see.”

FiVe nEw YeArS qUoTe

1. Mark Twain
New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

2. Brooks Atkinson
Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

3. Bill Vaughan
Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

4. P. J. O'Rourke
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.

5. Jay Leno
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution.

sELf iMpRoVeMenT ? FiVe TiPs

1. Don't procrastinate

2. Set goals - but live for the now too

3. Face the fear

4. Break the chain / pattern

5. Accept the things you can't change